010 - Can we always be a good parent?
Parenting the Intensity ·
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Transcript
Can we always be a good parent?
This will be a very quick but essential episode. Welcome to Parenting the Intensity, where we'll talk all about how we can drop the general parenting advice that doesn't work with our emotionally intense kids anyway, and let go of the unrealistic expectations society puts on us as parents. Together, we'll find solutions and ideas that work for you and your kids. Chances are, deep down, you know what you need. But you need a little encouragement to keep going on harder days and permission to do things differently and help you fully trust that you already are a wonderful parent to your exceptional but challenging kids. How do we reach those expectations? Our expectations of ourselves as parents are plain unrealistic. We expect way too much and we cannot reach those expectations. Some days we might be able to, but most days we won't. And reframing those expectations to make them more realistic can help immensely. And social expectations? It's not just us. We're not the only one expecting things from ourselves. We take that from society, from our background, how we were raised, what we think is being a good parent, all those things. It's just not us, like ourselves, in our little bubble.
It's coming from something. But let's be completely clear, those expectations are not realistic. And some day we will be plain bad and fail. But we're only feeling that interaction that day or maybe that week. We're not feeling our kid in their life. We're not feeling our parenting. Those moments are not going well and that's just because we're human. We make mistakes. We are tired. We are overwhelmed. We are angry. Hungry. I love that term, like a mix of angry and angry. I'm not angry, I'm not angry, I'm not angry. I'm not angry, I'm not angry, I'm not angry. Name it, we don't, we're not doing well that day. So we cannot be our best self that day.
It's not possible. We are still doing our best in those moments. It's just that some days our best is not the same as when we are rested, sicker, supported, well fed, and we feel like we know what we're doing. Some days our best is staying on the couch looking at the TV all day with her kids because it's all we can fan them. And that's still our best. Does it mean we're a wonderful parent that deserves a medal? Heck yes. Because we're just doing our best and that's what's the most important. We're doing our best and it doesn't feel like our best. Like, let's be honest. And some days we feel like we're not even trying. But we're, we are, we are trying with what we can that day with the energy we have that day. So no, we cannot be good parents all the time, according to the standard. And that, let's be honest, we can never be a good parent according to the standard, even according to our own standard most of the time. And let alone social standard. We cannot.
We won't be Instagram and Pinterest and anything you want. Good parent standard. But we cannot always be the parent we want to be for our kids. Some days we just, we just won't. And you know what? That's OK. It's also model that to our kids that some days we're good, some days we're not going good. And it doesn't define who we are as a person. It's just how we are that day and we can start over the next day. We can start over on the just the next interaction. And yes, there is a way to turn things around. And yes, there is. But just some days it's just not going to happen. And that's OK, too. We are allowed to have bad days. So we won't be a good parent all the time, but we're always the best we can be in that moment. So that's it for today. It's just a small pep talk. I wanted to put on out there and I hope that you can you can listen to it when you're feeling like you have one of those days and it gives you permission to have one of those days once in a while. Just one thing, though, before we stop, if those days are every day, please reach out for help to people around you, to professionals, to anybody. But please don't don't feel like that all the time. Don't like don't feel like you're feeling every day because that's just not normal experience in parenting. You can live differently. So please reach out for help to anybody that know you know can help you if you're feeling like that every single day again and again and again. But once in a while, that's just normal. So see you next time. I'm so glad you joined me today and took that time out of your intense life to focus on finding a new way to parent that works for you and your kids. To get the episodes as soon as they drop, make sure to subscribe to the podcast and please left a rating and review so other parents can find it too. Also, check out all the free resources on my website at familymoments.ca so you can take action on what's the most important for you right now. And take a deep breath. Keep going. We're all in this together. Thank you.